Inane as this statement sounds, it's actually a really common theme for "feminist" characters on network dramas. They dream of what could have been, of whether they have the life they want, and what they would want different. I don't begrudge our heroines this introspective experience. In fact, I delight in complex characters who can doubt themselves without appearing weak. Sarah is not one of these characters.
However, more often than not, these women are asking questions like this and neglecting to account for their own choices. 100 years ago, this was a compelling story. Even 50 years ago, you'd have me on the edge of my seat. But in 2014? My feminist heart is asking, "What about your choices?"
"The life you're supposed to live" is a frustrating concept, especially for an American audience. Relinquish our fate to anyone but ourselves? Never! Even when we wish that someone else would make our decisions, we never actually give up control of our own lives if we can help it. Americans admire that self governing and, as a general rule, don't respect characters who don't display it.
"The life that just happened to you" is even more infuriating. The life that just happened to me? A passive approach like this is what makes women crawl in their skin. At what point did Sarah decide that making her choices wasn't her fault? She's unsatisfied with her life but it's not her fault? Bullshit.
Next week on Betrayal: how the writers are failing to make a soulless lawyer with an awesome wife a sympathetic romantic lead.